Monthly Archives: August 2012

I’ve been lying….

to everyone.

I’ve been lying to my husband about what I do on the computer when he gives me a couple of hours on a Sunday. He thinks I’m researching furniture. I’d say he was incredibly gullible, but I actually have a sneaking suspicion he knows I’m blogging. He uses my iPad and my blog is probably on the history. He’s not letting on, so basically, I’m lying to him.

I’ve been lying to some people on my anonymous twitter account. Some of them I was following (and followed back) on my “real me” twitter account and when I started my anonymous account I didn’t want to stop following on there as well. So quite a few of you are having two conversations with me. Probably about 20 of you. I feel bad, but the big advantage is that I get to read your tweets on one, where I may have missed on the other. However I do feel like I’m lying to you. On my “real me” twitter account I put up pics of me and the kids. I say stuff I’m comfortable with friends and hubby to read. On the anonymous account I get to say stuff I reeeeallly want to say. The stuff my husband would pull me up on and I quite like that.

I’m also lying to friends and family. “Did you do anything nice this weekend?” “Oh, you know a bit of gardening, playing with kids, sorting out school stuff”. It’s not what I say that is the lie, it’s what I don’t say. I’d like to say “Yeah had a great weekend with the kids, had a really funny chat with someone on Twitter about drinking port and then blogged about having a hairy va ja ja”. Hmmm, I don’t think I can be honest can I?

I’m going to have a serious think about all this lying. I’m not suddenly going to stop being anonymous as it gives me a certain amount of freedom which, at the moment, I’m enjoying. However, I may be unfollowing a few people on my “real me” account because I can’t be having two different sets of conversations on 2 accounts with the same people. I feel terrible. I’m actually really enjoying chatting on “the 40 year old” account and love reading all the people I follow so I will be spending more time on that account anyway.

As for my husband and friends……………I think I have to keep on lying. I really don’t want to have my cover blown yet.

What do you think? A good idea? Do you wish you were anonymous and do you get followed by lots of friends and family that make tweeting and blogging tricky?

Arse!

What has happened to my arse?  

On minute it was sitting high (and large in a good way), the right proportion of muscle and fat and now it’s gone horrendously width ways and changed into a shape I don’t even recognise anymore.

I used to have my arse serenaded to by sailors (I kid you not, it did happen!)

It hooked every man I EVER went out with including my husband and now it hangs there like some sort of lumpy, cheap, sprayable, foam filler.

Where once I could have tucked my arse neatly into a tight pair of trousers, parading it about like a thing of wonder, I’m finding myself adjusting the length of my tops to create the right silhouette.  Get it wrong and having THAT atop my skinny (ish) legs just looks comical.

I don’t think there are exercises available to rescue my arse from the cliff top its falling from, but if there are then please send help immediately. Otherwise I intend to either wear a bustle under everything and start wearing Victorian bathers in the shower to spare me the horror.

The one where……….I talk about friends

I have been musing about this post for a while.  Probably for about 15 years, even before the internet started and I knew what a blog post was.  I may or may not be unusual, but here goes…

I really don’t have many friends.

I don’t make friends easily.  I think it boils down to not wanting to put myself up for rejection, so I take a while to warm up to a friendship, I need to know that we are both in it 100% before I can launch into anything.

I wasn’t born in the UK (although my parents were born and raised here) so I had a big group of friends from high school that I hung out with a lot after I left school.  I probably drifted slightly away from them in the mid 90’s when I hooked up with my various boyfriends, partly because I was being all grown up and ACTUALLY having a real relationship (not a pretend one) and partly because my friends knew what I only knew in hindsight, that my boyfriends were dicks.  Anyway……I digress.

Leaving those friends behind to move to the UK was not difficult for me at all. I’m not even sure I said goodbye at the end, just moseyed off.  Our friendship was born out of circumstance rather than any real closeness and I was off on an adventure with my boyfriend (Dick number 2).

I’ve been living in the UK for nearly 18 years now (Dick number 1 and 2 now long gone) and I don’t have any group of people who are my friends, that I can regularly hook up with.  I have my husband’s friends (who we hung out with a lot pre children) and they are really nice and I’m sort of close to a couple of them, but if they shit hit the fan in our relationship I know they wouldn’t be there for me, because they aren’t MY friends.

I have a friend I house shared with when I first came here who now lives in Ireland who I barely stay in contact with and another I used to work with for several years who I was very close to, but lives a fair distance away now.  Another friend, both me and my husband met at the same time at drama school, is more my friend than his and we are very close, but I don’t see her as often as I should and she literally has MILLIONS of friends.

So I’ve got 3 people who are my friends.  They are littered all over Great Britain, they know each other from gatherings but aren’t friends themselves so we can’t all get together somewhere.  I have to see them all separately (if I do at all).

So, who do I turn to in a crisis?  Who do I phone when I can’t make my mind up about which dress is right or whether I should switch jobs or study full-time?  No one.  Nada. Zip!  I don’t ring anyone because I don’t have a friend I’ve ever done that with.  I’m thinking I’m a bit odd, so many people seem to have best friends or (BFF — bleurgh) and “the guys” “uni mates” “Bristol crew” and I’m barely scraping together enough people to have a meal with.

I’ve ruminated on this for some time.  My husband has worried about it on my behalf (I’m sure he has a friend making machine in the shed, because he has thousands).  In my darkest hour I’ve got concerned that I’d have no one to turn to if my marriage fails, no one to support me, dry my eyes and drag me through it.

The bottom line is that I can’t change anything.  I can try to be more social with the ones I have (I’ve just started booking meals, visits etc..) and my daughter is about to start school so maybe (maybe) another mum and me might strike up a friendship and enjoy each others company.  Who knows.  I do know that I won’t push things to try to get friends.  Slowly slowly gives everyone a chance to be sure it’s going to work out.  Too many times we embark on these things only to discover the person in question is an idiot, narrow-minded, alcoholic or just plain annoying.  There’s nothing worse than having to email someone to say you don’t want to see them anymore, because all of your subtle hints didn’t work and they won’t stop bloody calling. (I’m not proud of the fact but yes, I did do this once).

Well, I guess that’s hit the nail on the head huh?  I’m pretty picky about my friendships. I won’t be friends with any old Tom, Dick and Harry.  You have to have similar ideals to me, a sarcastic sense of humour, happy to talk about your embarrassing mishaps for the greater good of entertainment and enjoy a drink or two when the time is right.  If you have kids, my children HAVE to feel comfortable in your children’s company. They don’t have to be the same age, but if you have a “weird” kid, my daughter is going to freak out about it and we’ll end up only seeing each other in the cloak of darkness. Probably not ideal in the long-term.

I’ll keep thinking about it and hope I pick up some more on my journey through life.  I know I’m being a little awkward and whilst I think I’m a great friend I’m under no illusion that people have different views of you than you have of you, so I probably come across as aloof or unfriendly, when inside I’m screaming “be my friend, be my friend”.

So what do you find are the best qualities in your friendships?  Do you accept them warts and all or as you as slow and picky as me?

Having a lousy time

I had wanted to start tackling some of the big issues facing me as a 40-year-old, but as it turns out some of the smaller issues that are facing  me as a mother seem to be a bit all-consuming at the moment.  I think what I’m writing about today is pretty taboo in some circles and can be described as a big deal if you have young children.  I’m talking about head lice.

The reason I say it’s pretty taboo is because I’ve been googling the subject A LOT recently looking for advice and help on how to eradicate the buggers from my household.  You see, it’s very new to me.  My daughter got head lice (and nits) from someone at ballet (the mum in question removed her from the class the minute she discovered them) and ever since then we’ve been facing an uphill battle to get rid of them.  What’s interesting in that all of my googling I have only found a handful of forum posts about the subject, a few write ups on medical or family orientated websites but barely any blogs on the subject.  I’m sure they are out there somewhere. I really needed some help.  I’ve been googling.

Effective lice treatments, nits on long hair, removal of nits on own long hair, effectiveness of nit treatment.  – that sort of thing.

You see, it’s not just my daughter who is infected. I am as well!!  Big confession for me.  When my daughter first got it, I immediately went out and bought Lyclear spray.  I followed the instruction, sprayed her entire head. Left it in for the allotted time and then shampooed it out.  Well I tried to shampoo it out, she had greasy hair for about 3 hair washes before it was gone completely.  I then used the provided lice comb and went through her entire head.  I changed her bedding (although apparently this isn’t necessary). Job done?  I thought so.  Then I got a bit suspicious a week later when she didn’t stop scratching her head. I’d told friends and family it was all gone, everything was fine.  However when they popped up again, I was too embarrassed to mention it, so hence the cloak and dagger approach came into force.

So I went and got a new treatment from the chemist.   I double bagged it in my lunch break and smuggled it into my handbag at work.  I got Lyclear crème this time (double bottle) and then when I got home I checked my son and my husband with a lice comb.  Both showed they had small lice, so we spent the next 2 hours using the treatment ( shampoo, add crème, wait 10 minutes, wash out, lice comb).  I hadn’t found any on me but I had the treatment too, just in case.  Job done, huh?  Not bloody likely.

Around about this time I had my highlights done and then used a new shampoo and conditioner.  Within days my head felt on fire and I couldn’t stop itching it.  I ran a nit comb through it and found nothing so just assumed I’d had a bad reaction to the highlights, shampoo or both.  So I went and bought some shampoo to calm it all down. Used it. It didn’t really work.  Then one day at work I was scratching my head and my nail caught on something bug like.  OMG – there it was in all it’s prehistoric glory………I had head lice.

I was soooo embarrassed.  All my work colleagues knew I had an itchy head and had offered various options to help me and there I was, in their midst with a head full of lice. So another cloak and dagger trip to Boots (further away from the office than the first) and I purchased an overnight treatment by Hedrin.  As soon as I got home I put the new treatment into action. Left it in overnight and washed it out the next morning.  My head felt better.  I then went and bought another bottle (I have really long thick hair) ready to use in 7 days time, just like they said.  So I diligently did it again, just like before.  In the meantime we had house guests and whilst waiting for them to turn up I used the Nitty Gritty comb (a new purchase, recommended to me by @melr94) on my daughter as I’d decided I didn’t want to put any more treatments on her hair.  Nothing showed up on the comb and I joked with the guests that I was just making sure she was nit free before they arrived and it was all ok.

During this time, my daughter got chickenpox.  She got a lot of spots on her head and these were obviously itchy as they were popping up and as the scabs started coming off.  I decided I’d try and remove some of these that were stuck in her hair and just to be on the safe side I decided to give her hair a once over with the nitty gritty. So I stuck a tonne of conditioner on her head and did it, in secret, in our bedroom because our house guests had returned again and I didn’t want to raise any suspicion.  Immediately I found a bugger.  Then another, then another.  All at various stages of life. I was soooo disappointed.  So I worked hard with the comb removing as much as I could.  The next morning I tried to do my own hair the same way.  With such thick, long hair, it was really hard to do. In the end I leant over in the shower and brushed my hair from the back of my head to the roots with the tangle teezer and then attempted to use the nitty gritty.  BANG – a louse.   The another.  OMG, what is the problem with us, why can’t I get these buggers?  Of course the comb kept getting stuck, I was in an uncomfortable position for at least an hour (my legs started getting pins and needles) and I wasn’t entirely sure I could do it properly.  However, my husband had tried to do it previously and was useless, so I had no choice.

So that night (last night) I did my daughters hair again. I was a bit better at it this time and managed to get a similar haul of louse that I’d got the previous night.  All done in my bedroom under the illusion of removing pox scabs. Still being secretive to my guests.  I can’t do it again tonight as she is off staying with her grandparents and will get back later on Tuesday, so I will have to do it again on Wednesday and will continue to do it until we get nothing at all.

As for me.  Well I intend to do the same in the shower again tonight in an attempt to eradicate the buggers from my head.  Clearly all the treatments available to us have done nothing, have left one of us with something remaining and we’ve just reinfected each other all over again.  I’m exhausted with the friggin combing and I’m started to see the benefit of shaving my head.

Of course, I’m not telling anyone (well, except you). I can’t.  I’m too embarrassed to admit that we are all nit infested still.  Since re-discovering my daughters she hasn’t yet been back to nursery, so I’ll hopefully get my final comb in before she does.  I checked my son’s head yesterday and he appears to be nit free and my husband used the comb in the shower yesterday and said he got nothing.  How long do I keep doing this before they’re all gone?

What has worked in your house?  Any tips or suggestions for me?

PS: Hubby just texted to say he got about 15 out of my daughter’s hair via dry combing. How could I have missed them?

Added 27/08/12:  Just wanted to let you all know what worked for me and my family.  Out of all the bottles, shampoos, sprays – in the end it was wet combing.  There is no surprise that the companies who do these bottles recommend running a nit comb through afterwards, because it will never kill every louse and egg.  For me, if I have to go through the pain of wet combing, why spend upwards of £15, when I could just do it for a kick off.  I bought a nitty gritty comb and for my daughter I did 2 wet combs (tonnes of conditioner on the hair, section off and clip and work through each section). I also did dry combing every day for about 10 days during this, which did result in a few being found.  For me, I did get hubby to do 1 wet comb, but it was traumatic, painful and we shouted at each other a bit.  He didn’t find any.  In the end, I dry combed with the nitty gritty with my head over the bath and being able to see what came out.  I would brush with the tangle teezer and then the nitty gritty every day, switching to every 2nd day when I had a clear day.  WE ARE ALL NIT FREE after about 12 days.  HOORAH.

 

The fortnight I strayed……

I’m so dreadfully sorry.

I did it without thinking, without considering your feelings.

I did it out of pure selfishness and I’m sorry for hurting you………..but I don’t regret it for a second.

The Olympics were FAR more interesting and inspiring for me so I’ve chosen to neglect you all on Twitter. I haven’t died or moved to Facebook. I’m still here, caught up in the frenzy of gold medals and amazing athletes.

Wow. It’s been great hasn’t it?  I’ve managed to make it to beach volleyball and a diving event in the Olympic stadium.  I’m off to 2 events there on Tuesday as well.  I’ve also benefitted from living near Twickenham by seeing the road races and managed to get a view of the Olympic Torch.  If there was a medal for immersing yourself in the spirit of the Olympics I’m surely in for contention.

I know ALOT of people aren’t interested and I’m cool with that.  Whatever floats your boat.  It’s not everyone’s cup of tea.  I think even more people thought they wouldn’t be interested until they saw some familiar streets, an opening ceremony that made our hearts soar and our national pride soar even more and then we actually started WINNING. I mean – heck!  We are winning Golds, man.  So people are hooked who didn’t know one athlete from another and had a hard time even naming some Olympic sports.

I do like the Olympics.  I get very emotional at the idea that all of these nations that usually argue, fight, have wars etc.. suddenly agree to meet somewhere and do some running races and give each other a pat on the back.  I like that, it makes me cry. ALOT.

It makes me google athletes (where are they from?  How did they start? Where did they train?) and it makes me find out more about countries too.  Watching the women’s 3m springboard and the awesomeness of the Chinese divers made me find out more about them.  I’m not so naive as to think they are frolicking through daisy strewn fields when they are on their way to training but I can’t be happy about their Golds at all.  It just makes me sad for what they had to give up in order to get them.  Surely it’s not worth all of that.

I googled Wu Minxia (or I may have read an article – I can’t remember) and it revealed that she hadn’t seen her family in over 8 years.  She is not allowed contact with them at all and it was only after she won her gold that they revealed that her grandparents had died over a year ago and that her mother had been suffering with cancer.  Is that really an acceptable way to treat an individual.  It makes me shudder.  However, perhaps I want them to win gold because I’m not sure how they would be dealt with if they didn’t.

At any rate, for all these sad stories come the amazing ones like Oscar Pistorious, other wise known as Blade runner.  He ran on artificial legs and was the first double amputee to compete at the Olympic Games.  What an amazing story and what an inspiration to the hundreds of people both able-bodied and disabled at what can be achieved if you just believe.

So I’m sorry I’ve neglected you twitter friends but I’m thoroughly enjoying my dalliance with sport.  It will be over too soon and I will be back seeking inspiration from you all in no time.