Monthly Archives: February 2014

The Difficult Conversations I have to have today

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I’ve got quite a few difficult conversations to have today.

I have to ring 2 estate agents and tell them that we aren’t going to be using them.  No big deal any other time but I know how desperate they all are for properties at the moment.

One of them is a local estate agent who sold our last house and sold us this house.  He also supports our local school, so I feel a bit sad I’m letting him down.  However, the agent we are going for has 2 other offices in neighbouring suburbs and I think that is a better option for us. You can read about our visit by the estate agents here.

The third difficult conversation is with the after school club my daughter goes to.  I’ve not been very happy with them for some time, but I thought it was easier just to keep Pickle there rather than disrupt things and move her.  However she had started asking if she could move to another after school club because one of her school friends go there and under the circumstances I can’t see why not.

You can read about the latest incident with the after school club here.

So today I have to ring her and tell her that as of tomorrow she’s going to the new club and that it’s nothing to do with the incident, but more to do with Pickle just wanting to play with another child.

I feel a bit bad about it, but I shouldn’t be.  Nobody likes having difficult conversations do they?

Anybody got any tips on softening the blow?

 

 

As always I am grateful for having an audience at all that regularly read my blog and give me such lovely feedback but it’s always nice to get further recognition.  If you enjoy reading my blog and fancy nominating me for a MAD award 2014 (in the category of Best Schooldays, Most Entertaining or Best Blog Writer), then you can do so here www.the-mads.com/awards/ If you don’t….I still love you all. X

Coping with Family doing your Childcare

My husband looks after our children 2 days a week and does a sterling job at it.  However, sometimes he is offered work on those 2 days and it’s difficult to turn it down, because the money is very good.

On those occasions I get the first refusal to book time off work and look after the children, but there’s enough of them to properly eat in to my 20 days a year, so it often doesn’t make sense.  It especially doesn’t make sense because we have my mother in law just over an hour away who is very happy to come up the night before and sleep over and spend time with her grandchildren.

The trouble is, she’s getting on a bit and she doesn’t like following any restrictions we might give.

When Pickle was small, she completely ignored the routine and then would regale us with stories of her being awake at bedtime (because of a nap that went on too long), or being grumpy at lunchtime (because she didn’t nap when she should have).  It used to infuriate me, but the alternative of not having someone to take her for a weekend away was enough for me to bite my tongue. She was safe after all, wasn’t she?

We’ve had a few minor incidents over the years. Bumps and bangs, a fall down the stairs. I am always slightly taken aback it that it seems to happen with her, but not when we are looking after them.

Then there was the fringe cutting incident.

However, tonight she informed both hubby and I of a very delightful story whereby she falls asleep on the sofa WHILST SUPPOSEDLY LOOKING AFTER MY 3 YEAR OLD (who, she tells us, was also asleep) and waking up at 2.45pm.  She then scrambles to get both of them out the house and in the car and then parked a few streets near the school and tried to dash in to get Pickle.  Although 2.45 doesn’t sound right to me, because when she got there, Pickle was the only child left, standing next to her teacher.  As Pickle comes out at 3.05, she had a full 20 minutes to make it in time.  I think she slept later.

Pickle wasn’t upset. I asked her this evening in the shower and she told me that someone always picks her up.  That’s reassuring she believes that.

Mother in law wasn’t upset either.

Neither was my hubby.

I bloody well was.

I am livid!

 

I Had a Bad Day

I had a bad day

I’m usually quite an upbeat kind of person but yesterday I was in quite a bad mood.  The kind of bad mood that usually ended in arguments and could have resulted in a bit of a falling out on Twitter. Thankfully, one of the advantages of being 40+ years old is I can usually see the warning signs, have a moment as my hand hovers over a keyboard and know when my mood has beaten me.

It’s not me…..it’s just my head.

I spent the weekend with the nastiest cold virus I’ve had in a long while. (Note: I’ve not said flu. Regular readers know how I feel about people claiming that whilst they tap tap tap on their Facebook account).

I was determined not to stay the whole weekend in bed, instead I got hubby to do the ballet run and I paced myself during the day by doing jobs in the house and sitting down again for 20 minutes.

I’d spent Saturday night googling houses in Hampshire in our price range.  It was a bit depressing. I convinced myself that we’d never get what we want for the money we have.  So I woke up still feeling a bit sad about that.

Hubby got up on Sunday morning in an immediate bad mood.  He hasn’t been enjoying the children recently (The Monster is especially taxing, but Pickle is very teary) and he was bracing himself for another day of bad behaviour, tears, arguments and general “raising children” horribleness.  His mood thickened the air.  I sunk lower.

The Monster is refusing to toilet train.  Absolutely refusing.  If he’s not in control, it aint happening.  Pants, pull ups, stickers, chocolates, dinosaurs (an actual WHOLE dinosaur for doing a poo and he won’t do it), Ipad on the toilet, potty in front of the TV, Competitiveness with the rest of the family, coaxing, kindness, talking, shouting, reference to still being a baby….NONE of it worked.

In my mood, I sunk lower still and then moaned on twitter, got a lot of helpful advice that I then got annoyed at (it’s me, not you) and decided to stay off for the rest of the day.

So.

  •  Children
  • Toilet training
  • Cold Virus
  • Hubby mood
  • Big move reservations

They all conspired against me on Sunday.

I’m a big girl though.  I can see how it all panned out and it wasn’t anyone’s fault but my own.

  • I’m assuming the children are just going through a phase.  We’ve upped the use of the step for the The Monster, especially if he’s rude to us.
  • I’m leaving the toilet training now. I’m thinking I shouldn’t mention it. He’ll probably just use the toilet one day without any prompting. It needs to be his decision.
  • The Cold Virus is already on the way out.
  • I have no control over Hubby’s mood.  I have control over how I react to it though.  *Deep breaths”.
  • I need to stop googling the houses in Hampshire. Get our house valued this week.  Take it from there. Stop panicking.

I guess there are some advantages to being 40.  At least I can see that it’s not me…..it’s my head.

As always I am grateful for having an audience at all that regularly read my blog and give me such lovely feedback but it’s always nice to get further recognition.  If you enjoy reading my blog and fancy nominating me for a MAD award 2014 (in the category of Best Schooldays, Most Entertaining or Best Blog Writer), then you can do so here www.the-mads.com/awards/ If you don’t….I still love you all. X

 

Valentine’s Day – why I don’t celebrate it

I’m not a big fan of Valentine’s Day and it’s not because I don’t believe in romance.  I do.  Provided it is for me and not something I have to physically do for someone else.

(That’s a joke)

The reason I’m not a big fan of Valentine’s Day is because I can’t quite get my head around the idea that we have just ONE day to be nice to our other half?

I just think it’s a day created by lazy men and women who don’t want to have to do anything romantic any other day of the year.

WHY DOES IT HAVE TO HAPPEN ON ONE DAY?

On top of that, it’s now commercialised so much that everyone feels that they HAVE TO do something on Valentine’s day and in order to get a table at a nice restaurant they have to book two months in advance because everyone else is feeling like they HAVE TO do something.

So while everyone is feeling particularly obliged to do SOMETHING the people who are not in relationships, some sad about it, some not, get to feel inadequate because everyone else is DOING SOMETHING and they aren’t because they haven’t jumped on the band wagon of social acceptance and got themselves into a relationship at any cost.

I think that’s a bit mean.

Whilst on the subject, you could argue the same for Mother’s Day and Father’s Day.   I don’t mind skipping it.  Make my birthday extra special.  Let’s not put the money in the coffers of those exploiting a holiday that you just happen to be in the position to be celebrated just because you were able to conceive/fertilise and got a baby at the end of it.  Surely the delivery of a baby should be celebration enough?

Don’t even get me started on what it’s like on Mother’s Day to those unable to conceive. Or those that have lost their mother.  Or worse, as was the case for me for 4 years, unable to conceive or have a mother to send a card to.

I have reluctantly bought my husband a card and he has reluctantly bought me one and we will reluctantly hand them over at breakfast with some mumbling about not needing a day to tell someone why they are special.  We should just ignore it, but even in the echelons of rantville, we are STILL feeling a bit pressure to do something.  That’ll be it though.

What would be better is if we all just do something romantic for our other halves on a weekly and monthly basis.  I will endeavour to do one of my husband’s “jobs” at home once a week and once a month I will do something romantic, like cook his favourite meal, hold his hand (yes, sadly I don’t really like holding hands, puts me off my walking rhythm) or be the one to instigate the kiss hello.

What will you do?  Plump for the single solitary day like all the other robots or go out on a limb?

Happy Valentine’s Day.  😉

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40 + 1 + 1

Oh ok, I’m 42.

Today!

Yep, I’m well and truly free falling now, if I squint I can just about see the bottom.

I’m finding that turning 42 is much much more enjoyable than turning 41.  Turning 41 was not good.  A year after the  buzz of the big milestone and my decision to work on my birthday (I always have) and getting a few annoying emails from work colleagues on the day, I ended up really quite down in the dumps last year.  So this year I’ve decided to take the day off.

I may or may not do the school run (it’s ok, I’m not advocating truancy, Hubby is here so he can do it) and then I’m heading off to Kingston for a spot of shopping, a languish in a coffee shop and then meeting up with hubby for a nice lunch.  I’m hoping to make it back in time for the school run (a novelty for me) and then we will all go out for dinner as a family.

I’m rather looking forward to it.

Happy Birthday to me!