It’s happened. I should have seen it coming. I’ve seen it creeping up since I was 36 but I just didn’t believe it.
How can I go from being underweight for nearly 30 years to actually having a bad BMI?
From being called some pretty bad names for being so incredibly skinny in high school, to being unable to fit in post pregnancy jeans. I’m tall, I was never been an 8 by the way. I’m not being melodramatic.
The jean thing was my tipping point. It wasn’t just the top of them (my tummy does stick out more than my boobs), it was the thighs as well. I can’t deny it anymore. I watched my mother (one of the skinniest teenagers I’ve ever seen — she used to try to be photographed squishing her thigh on something so she looked bigger FGS) who was a size smaller than me become a 16. 16 is a fine size by the way, if you are built to be a size 16, if you’ve always been a size 16. It wasn’t my mum’s size and it isn’t mine. I can’t start sliding down that slope.
So this morning I asked what people do. Those people who diet. I should have seen it coming. I am no longer that super eater, super-metaboliser woman. My metabolism is now hand cranked, it aint super anymore.
I’ve downloaded myfitnesspal and started recording my eating habits and exercise. I’ve only done one day and it’s been quite an eye opener.
The critical thing for me was to find a way to diet without my children knowing. I don’t want to talk about it, I don’t want to eat differently and I don’t want to suggest that I need to diet because of society constraints.
The truth is, I’m tired and unfit and my escalating weight is merely a symptom of all of that. I need to focus on what I’m putting in my body and get my act together. If I can lose some weight and change my lifestyle I can take my foot off the pedal every so often and practice what I currently preach my daughter, everything in moderation.
Wish me luck.