Well, we made it. Lasted the course. Made it to 10 years relatively unscathed.
It’s been many lows but many more highs and despite the tricky period we are currently in (raising small children) we are still managing to make each other smile (occasionally).
Our 10 years brought us:
- 2 house moves
- 4 years of infertility
- The birth of our daughter
- Another 2 years of infertility
- A natural pregnancy and the birth of our son
- 6 years of University to gain a degree, through all of the above and working
- A severe flare up of my Ankylosing Spondylitis
- Some great holidays. Some not so great.
- The ups and downs of an actor hubby
- Lots of wine and beer and finding funny moments throughout
I wouldn’t suggest for a second that I thought our marriage was in trouble. We have our moments and lots of arguments and months of wondering whether we’d make it through after particularly hard times. We still talk about issues (a lot) and still smile at each other. I also wouldn’t suggest for a second that we were besotted/made for each other/head over heels in our relationship. I’m not sure we ever were. I think we represent the vast majority of couples, who are together because we still love each other, still enjoy each other’s company (most of the time) and know that marriage isn’t easy, often has to be worked at, involves a great deal of compromise but the benefits reaped are soooo worth it.
The last few months have been tricky for us. We’ve argued a fair bit. Dealt with work issues and children issues. We went away to Spain, but were there with another couple and we did family things. We had this trip booked for Brugge back in February and I did wonder whether it would tell me something about the state of my marriage. Whether 2 days away with just the two of us and no other distractions would demonstrate whether we no longer had anything in common or that we were still in good shape.
Well, I’m pleased to say (with relief) that it was the latter. We giggled and chatted on Eurostar all the way there. Upon arriving in Brugge, we walked around a bit, I even put out my hand to be held (shock horror: I’m not tactile at all, hate holding hands, ruins the rhythm of my walking). I actually quite liked it. We got tipsy in the afternoon and really had a ball.
Even the hangover on the Friday didn’t dampen things for too long (I was a little grumpy) and we really enjoyed each other’s company. We didn’t talk about the kids too much either. Result.
The journey back home was very different to the one there. We ended up sharing our table seat with 2 key members of Cirque du Soleil (The events director and the director of operations) and we all got very merry on buffet car wine and talked and laughed the entire journey.
Our trip away was finished off with a lovely meal in The Wolsley, which had a fabulous atmosphere and the management gave us some macaroons (correct spelling: macarons) with an edible plaque wishing us a happy anniversary.
All in all, we have had a fabulous time and my heart is warmed that we’ve come through it exactly the same as we went in. Nobody is more relieved than I am.