Category Archives: Age

How to Turn Me On


Take the bins out

Fix the dripping tap

Fix the blown light bulb

Put petrol in my car

Buy me a non twist hose in the garden

Put the kick board in the kitchen back

Put the washing away

Clean the bathroom

Buy a replacement photo frame for the one you broke

Wash the sheets and change the bed



The Good Old Days

There is nothing more infuriating to me than hearing about the good old days.  I thought it was the bastion of old men, usually grandads, telling us how rubbish the world is now and how great it was when they didn’t have telly and all worked down the mines.

Well, folks, you’re all there.  You’ve all started doing it and I couldn’t be more frustrated about it.

If I get one more Facebook meme pop up telling me that life was perfect when we all stayed outside until the street lights came on and how we all did more of this and less of this .

Have you bloody heard yourselves.  For goodness sake.

You must remember what it was like when you were a child and your parents banged on about how great the 50’s were.  Well, now YOU’RE doing it.  The 70’s were not that great, you just think they were because you’re now a grown up.mud legs

It was great playing outside, but back then parents weren’t judgemental.  They didn’t blame parents because a bad person took advantage of a child enjoying their childhood.  They were unlucky.  Nowadays, I guarantee that a good chunk of parents would love to have their kids out playing, but are afraid of being judged for it.  Can you imagine seeing your neighbours 4-year-old playing around the road?  Tell me you wouldn’t call someone after you’ve seen it happen for days on end?

We are the product of our own social norms and we’ve got no-one else to blame but ourselves.

As for the phone issue.  If someone had given me a phone at 12 years old that did what phones do now I would have been over the moon.  Much like children do now, I’d have spent lots of time on it, but I’d spend time at school, time in the garden, time playing sport, some more time on my phone.  My parents didn’t let me watch television 24 hours a day, I wasn’t allowed to read at the dinner table.  We’re all perfectly capable of managing this amazing technology and embrace it for what it is………….bloody amazing.

Feel free to look back on your childhood with nostalgia but please stop comparing it to our children’s childhood……….because whatever you’re moaning about now, will be their “Good old days”.  Imagine that!


The Awful Tooth

Dear Tooth,

I’m so sorry I’ve taken you for granted. Please stop hurting.

Love me X

I have had a throbbing, painful tooth for over 2 weeks now and finally plucked up the courage to book an appointment at my dentist.  Obviously I chose a dentist that was in London.  Travelling for 3 hours seemed the only logical option.  😉

I went to see my old dentist as I hadn’t had a chance to find one in my new area, or certainly not one that anybody could recommend.

The news wasn’t great.  The large, deep filling I have is infected and it looks like there is now new decay underneath the filling.  I was given two options.  Either have a go at root canal work with a crown on top or take the tooth out.  I’ve definitely heard of root canal and all the horrible stories associated with it, but I couldn’t contemplate having my tooth out.  It’s a really obvious tooth that you can see and is key to me being able to chew my food.

However, if the root canal doesn’t work, I have to have it out.

Cue panic.

I immediately took to twitter to “talk out” what that meant.  I’m 40 for goodness sake!  40 year olds don’t have dentures.

So I’ve had a few options thrown at me.  Bridges were mentioned.  Implants as well.  All costing an absolute bomb.

I’m not ready to start losing my teeth.  Tell me I’m not some sort of early ager.  Tell me I’m not going to be putting my teeth in a glass by the bed.

Tell me this is normal……….please?

teeth in a jar

The Joys of a Birthday

I love birthdays.  Especially my own.

I have no idea why the joy is still there, but in my *cough* 43 years on this earth there are a few things I’ve learnt about birthdays.

You are responsible for reminding everyone.

If you want people to wish you a happy birthday and make you feel special, then give them advanced warning. You can’t expect them to remember it.

You are responsible to making your birthday special. 

You are really the only person who knows what will make you smile.  So say it out loud.  Just because it’s not a surprise doesn’t make it less fun or enjoyable.

You get wiser on every birthday

This is the truth.  My current brain inside my 20-year-old self would have conquered the world.  It is one of life’s great cruel fates.  Never the less, I love that I understand the world a little better every year, that I’ve learnt to take  people as they are and if I don’t like the way someone is I can always walk away.

So with all that in mind, I told quite a few people at work and they wished me a very happy birthday as I left for home on Thursday.

I’m about to head off to Marlborough for a spot of shopping and perhaps will read a magazine in a coffee shop.  Then The Monster and Mr40 can meet me for lunch and we can make our way back home at our leisure.  Pickle isn’t due out of her after school club until after 4pm.

As well as this lovely day, some friends are dropping in en route to Bristol from London and are staying overnight so we’ll all head to the local pub later on for a few drinks and the boys will bring the kids home and heat up our “Cook” order before they watch the rugby (I’ll ignore that need – it wasn’t on my list).

It’s going to be a brilliant day and look………I’ve even told you!



My Secret Vest

You were a burden at 13

An embarrassment

A pointless piece of fabric.

“No.  No I’m not wearing a vest”.  Red faced replies to mean boys on the bus.

Why mum……….why?vest


It’s all changed though. 33 years later

On a cold morning I calculate my layers

I work out if I could fit you in

Will you be seen?

Shall I tuck you in or leave you out.

You will make me happy.  The extra layer.

The lovely soft warmy layer.

My secret Vest.