There you go. I said it.
I don’t do date nights. In fact the mere mention of those two little words kind of makes me want to punch someone in the face.
There are two reasons I don’t “do” date nights.
Firstly, I’ve been married for 10 years and been with my partner for 18 years. One of the perks of being in a long term relationship is that WE DON’T HAVE TO DATE.
I don’t have to make this massively huge effort to dress up and impress and he doesn’t have to polish up on his compliments or check the use by date on the resident condom that has started to leave an imprint on the inside of his wallet.
It doesn’t mean we don’t want to go out and enjoy each other’s company. You know, that well-known, “I’m going out with my husband” night. It also doesn’t mean I don’t want to occasionally look nice and he doesn’t need to compliment me. It’s just that after 18 years there really is no pressure here. I kind of like that. It can be a pretty shit night and it’s still going to be a great night out, because we aren’t sitting on the sofa or dealing with errant children who want a drink/snack/monster killer/light on.
However, I am just GOING OUT WITH MY HUSBAND. We aren’t dating. You know, because we ARE MARRIED.
My second issue with the dreaded Date Night is that (yes, I’m going to get defensive here) I feel a little like I’m not doing our marriage any good by not getting out there and having one on one time with my husband. I think I feel like that, because so many people seem to put an enormous amount of pressure on making sure it happens.
I can’t do it. I like him, but with only 2 good babysitters to use (my in-laws or my closest friend nearby) I’m a little short on babysitting availability. If I need to use them, it has to be for a pretty BIG night out. A 40th or a wedding or something.
I am stingy as well. I am not spending £8 an hour on a babysitter. That is waaaay too much pressure to have a good time. Add a meal cost on top of that, maybe a taxi and that is one very expensive evening out. Then there is a whole heap of pressure on a good night out. And you know what, I could have spoken to him here, on this sofa for free.
So I won’t be doing any date night shit anytime soon, thanks. We’ll do our catching up the old fashion way – Raising our voices over the top of our kids at the dinner table or grabbing a moment on a car journey whilst the lyrics of “Frozen” are shouted at us from the back seat.
It’s done me ok for 10 years.