Peaches Geldof and Passing Judgement

I’m sorry. I can’t let this slide.  I’m finding it really upsetting.

I tend to follow the motto : “Walk a mile in their shoes before passing comment” and this applies to the sad news today that Peaches Geldof died as a result of a heroin overdose.

Peaches

This news has not been confirmed on the BBC but has appeared online via Sky, The Guardian and the Independent.

It is a shock, but if I’m brutally honest, it is not the most surprising bit of information I’ve ever heard.

So first I get a comment on Facebook from someone telling me that she is incredibly selfish for leaving her boys without a mother and then find out loads of people are slagging her off on social media for claiming to be a good mother when she was actually a drug addict and “how could she put drugs before her children”.

I’m sorry…………please refer back to my motto.

You were raised the way YOU were raised, YOU had whatever opportunities you have, YOU made the decisions YOU had offered to you and you inherited some of the characteristics, personality and quirks of YOUR family.

It is highly unlikely that you were raised in a bohemian household with parents who partied, took drugs, were away a lot, had A LOT of money.

You probably didn’t experience the loss of your mother at a young age in the glare of the public eye, from a drug overdose.

You probably didn’t grow up very fast, mingle with the socially elite and wealthy and have access to almost anything you ever wanted

But even if you had, maybe you were lucky not to have inherited a set of genes or pre-determined impulses that perhaps tripped you up, despite every attempt you made to overcome them.

It is unlikely we will ever know if Peaches was a regular user of heroin, whether she was depressed and had a moment where she wanted to blot things out or whether she did what she did deliberately as some sort of need to either end her own suffering or that of her young children (I know it doesn’t make sense…..people who kill themselves rarely do, but it makes sense to them).

The important thing to focus on here is that a cycle has NOT been broken and as a result 2 young boys are now going to go through life without a mother.  I have no doubt she was a good mother, she was kind and that she loved them.  There are many sorts of good mothers.

This is sad. It is a tragedy.  Please stop saying what YOU would do.  You have no idea.

100 thoughts on “Peaches Geldof and Passing Judgement

    1. Justine Edwards

      I just wanted to say “Thank You”, its been so heartwarming to read this post. Nobody has the right to judge, we live our lives in the path that has been chosen for us/or are able to choose differently if we’re able. Regardless no-body has the right to judge Peaches Geldof, RIP Xxxx

      Reply
    2. Jonathan Dickson

      Well said. It could have just as easily been alcohol and would that have drawn the same criticism? I doubt it, though it’s no different really. Alcohol and heroin are both narcotics, and how many people can say hey have not experimented with one or the other. And which one kills more, eh?

      Reply
        1. Sophia

          Codeine and Heroin are both metabolised into Morphine, she could simply have taken pain killers containing codeine. Which is why the headline reads Heroin “LIKELY” to have played a role. Most women are injected with heroin (dia-morphine) when giving birth. People disappoint me on a daily basis. When a child is an addict selling sex and committing crimes to support their habit, the loss is simply intensified, so many questions, so little empathy! So glad mine are safe. May I always enjoy that luxury! How many kids did Bob save? Yeah ram it right down his throat Kev, he didn’t save his own. Hope your list of good deeds exceeds your comment, otherwise I think you have nothing to offer in this situation. Perhaps no comment would be more appropriate?

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          1. Sue

            No comment on the tragedy – suffice to say we all make choices and this young woman had access by her wealth to therapeutic services most addicts do not. On a medical note the serum test would likely have been heroin specific and the metabolites not significant. Taking codeine or morphine not exactly relevant. Yes. Morphine is sometimes given in labour ,as is Pethidine , but she was long past this period – Heroin is not a drug given in labour – it’s a street drug. I grieve for her family but choices were made…

        2. kayla

          Look up dual diagnosis in substance misuse, you may learn to have a little more empathy in regards to this. Do you think every addict wishes a life of sadness through drug misuse?? nine times out of ten there are serious underlying issues surrounding their addiction & painful ones at that, so try a little research before passing judgement & have some compassion of others, did you know her personally?? Did you know what pain she was suffering?? Think before you judge!!

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    1. Aly

      So you were there were you? Because every single report states that she had been alone in the house saturday night and all day sunday. So she did not take drugs in the same room. Also the reports were inconclusive, they only state that she took it recently and they assume it may be linked to her death. Maybe just think yourself lucky that you are so happy in your own life that you will never make a mistake!

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    2. Ash

      Go and try heroin—it will follow you around for the rest of your life. Feeling a bit low? Heroin. Had a bad day? Heroin. You think quitting cigarettes is hard? Even if you resist the urge to permanently float back to your heroin wonderland, you’ll never actually say goodbye to heroin, even when you’re in rehab and ‘want’ to quit. Ignoring heroin when you’ve felt it is like deciding you’d rather be dead than alive. Whatever you think of this girl, she was victim of heroin’s life-long clutch.

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    3. Binkss

      How do you know that she took Heroin voluntarily ?!……… If you actually read this carefully….. It is so full of holes it is ridiculous……..says Heroin found, ‘likely’ to have contributed? .. …. Does NOT say Heroin overdose…….. .Post Mortem inconclusive ?!… .No suicide note….. No drugs or paraphernalia found !? And they looked thoroughly.,,,,,,So she took Heroin! ,…Then went around (under the effects of Heroin) and cleaned everything up or what…….. Was happy and in contact all weekend………Was ‘supposedly on her own !?.. ….Really …..Police say no third party involved …….Really?! How do they knowthat ?! ….. were they there …..NO ….Did she have inside the house CCTv ?!.. What a shambles…….. Every time ‘drugs’ are mentioned judgemental attitudes and cannot see any other options……

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      1. linda

        I agree completely with you … she could have been forced to have it ? It’s strange that no drugs equipment were found in or outside the house … I hate to say this but could Peaches have been killed by someone ? She had everything and everyone to live for , and probably was “exhausted” as all mums and dads are , but , I don’t think she wanted to end her life . She was trying to come off of heroin completely with legal substitutes with weekly clinic visits , but so very sad that she felt she couldn’t speak to her family about it ?

        Poor Peaches … I feel so sorry for all of her family now . Poor Bob , he’s been through so much .

        linda. Wales .

        Reply
      2. Emma Fraser

        The police have issued a statement that they did find drugs paraphernalia in the house and it is now known she was attending rehab and on methadone. My heart goes out to her babies and family.

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    4. Lk

      No she was out the night before with friends. Maybe then she took heroin. She came home to her baby. She had a heart attack with heroin in her system which probably contributed to it. I doubt she planned that. The papers are reporting a good story not what the pathologist or corner said

      Reply
  1. Kelly Finn

    Yes thank you! Someone who’s speaking sense! Social media has really saddened me today, nothing official has even been announced yet. Yet people are calling her all sorts. Regardless of how she died, it’s really sad.

    Reply
    1. Mandy

      Yes! Well said and until you have lost you’re mum at a young age! You will never know the pain that is involved!

      Reply
  2. snafflesmummmy

    On the whole I agree with this. It is so easy to judge and make broad sweeping assumptions without knowing what a person was thinking/feeling at the time and what they were going through.

    Instead of judging her maybe people should put their mean thoughts and judgements aside and instead think of 2 children, a husband, father and wider family who are now without her in their lives.

    However, we know that she had experienced losing her mother to drugs herself, it is well documented how badly this effected her and yet she has through choice (either a conscious choice or a fit of desperation) now done the same to her children.

    Whether people judge her or not it is selfish and wreck less to take drugs whilst in sole charge of a child. She either chose to take drugs in front of her child and things went wrong or she chose to end her life in the presence of her child.

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  3. Lynette Maxwell

    I totally see and understand where you are coming from. I find this all terribly sad.
    my only trouble with this is the fact she was an advocate for attachment parenting which includes breastfeeding for a good time. I just hope she wasnt breastfeeding whilst taking these drugs.
    My heart goes out to the boys xxx

    Reply
    1. kerryann

      I’m sorry that children have been left without a mum, but I have a friend who is a heroin addict and I have help him and he says that its the feeling of not having to deal with emotions it take them away. I think the world of my friend but as an anxiety suffer my easy option would be to take drugs but I have a child and he is my priority so I meditate and take herbal karma when needed. Its about choice I wouldn’t be so selfish to take drugs because I’d be teaching my son the easy way out . And if I had peaches money I’d make dam sure I chose a better option. This world full of people who moddy coddle people. To many people are spoilt and wrapped up in cotton wool. We all have choices and there are consequences to our choices and now by her choices there are children who are motherless I pitty them and the whole family that is what is sad. I tell my friend everyday how selfish he is and he is now in rehab pity doesn’t get them to fix themselves truth does amen

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  4. lola

    I think she did well to get as far as she did. I think she tried so hard to be “normal”, but I obviously don’t know what goes on behind closed doors. Using drugs when in charge of children is a very irresponsible thing to do. No one can deny that. But, people that use heroin are not in a place where that would be their first thought. They are troubled. And unfortunately people are very good at hiding their real feelings. And drugs, alcohol etc. are just ways of coping with those feelings. I feel desperately sad for this woman, her family, her children. Being angry at a woman who is dead, judging her, really doesn’t achieve anything.

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    1. Karen

      So true. I just feel very sad for her and the turmoil she may have gone through. Posting the photo of her mum and herself a week or so before she passed away, tells us a little of how it was for her. I’m no expert but I think she was missing having her mum around to talk to. I just hope that when her young boys grow up, they have support. It’s not easy when a person portrays themself to be very happy yet deep down they are hurting and don’t know which way to turn. Such a beautiful young girl, mother, wife who is now gone to join the angels. May she rest in peace without people judging her.

      Reply
  5. Mart

    Having come from similar background ( without the money) and being an avid supporter and follower of peaches geldof and her Instagram/ attachment parenting. I can honestly say that it’s made me feel quite sick. She more than anyone knows what it’s like to be left behind to go through her life thinking her mum chose that over her. She has now put those children in that very situation. We all have our demons but you can choose to follow or break the paths of our parents. I did and believe me it’s a struggle every day not to become a roaring drunk and complete failure as a mother.

    A tragedy is something you can’t prevent ( in my eyes anyhow) and whatever was going on on her head she has no excuse for doing it in the same room as her child. That is abhorrent.

    Your

    Reply
    1. Sophia

      Why not just concentrate on your children and be thankful that u can control your urges. There is nothing to be gained by passing judgement on this poor young woman. No-one’s child is beyond this, be thankful you do not have to live with such a scenario. Passing judgement publicly will simply increase the pain that her family are suffering, nothing can change what has happened. Think what you like, but when u cant help, displaying this kind of judgment on a public forum can only cause pain. Maybe one day her kids will read your opinion, now that is sure to be a comfort to them! Achievement eh?

      Reply
  6. Lizzi

    What a great blog and one that sums up how I am feeling today. For those people who have never been clinically depressed or had an addiction, you have no idea what it’s like and are ignorant to make judgements on those whose lives are blighted by this illness. It is an illness and it’s one without a cure. Depression is partly genetic (like other illnesses) and partly due to your experiences in life. Perhaps to those unaware of the facts, some voluntary work in addiction/mental homes would help enlighten you.

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  7. deborah

    I think you raise a very valued point also do you not think that some social media comments could cause great hurt distress to an already heart broken family.

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  8. dave

    Yet you pass judgemental remarks on those of us that feel a heroin addict, famous or not, should have and could have afforded mental and physical care, in your own words, she chose her style, and it was wrong, sympathy for those poor kids, none for a badly CHOSEN lifestyle. She was not stupid, she was intelligent enough to know heroin should not ever be a resort, she chose to use and gamble with family’s happiness, No sympathy from me for her at any rate.

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  9. Reesie

    My father hung himself, doesn’t mean I will!! I look at life differently bad want the best for my kids!! If anything I want to be around more to protect them!! She knew what she was doing. You would of thought loosing her mum in that way would make her look at life differently too!! I couldn’t imagine leaving my children, I love them unconditionally!!

    Reply
    1. Mama

      Totally agree. My mum died when I was a teenager, it’s made me want to be as healthy as possible and to stick around for as long as possible for my children. I guess we are all different in the way that we handle stuff though, she did have a past history of drug abuse so she may well have been struggling for a long time behind closed doors. I feel so sorry for Astala and Phaedra. Bless their little hearts. At least they’re not old enough to know what is going on.

      Reply
  10. Alice

    Its truly heartbreaking, no matter what happened. I wish the newspapers etc had waited and not used the headlines they did, before all the facts where known. But they are trying to ‘sell’ a story. I feel so sad for her husband and two boys, not much younger than mine, I was not a fan of hers until I saw such a huge change in her when she became a mother. Her love for them, her way of life was something I admired and way easy too see. I had hoped this would be a happy ending for her, in family life and what she did for the ap life style was making it very main stream. I could hug her for how she stood up to that very over amioated woman on this morning. We the people looking in on this broken family, I think don’t have a right to pass blame or comment, we don’t know all the facts, and what ever happens, am shocked, upset and very sad for her family and her missing out on her boys. Its my hugest fear to leave this earth early and not be there for my boys so find all this really hard to read.

    I think, without not knwoing the facts, we should all just be sending our thoughts to her boys and sending them love, for its truly unjust, no matter what on earth happened that they do not have their mother. As one mother to another, am deeply saddened for her and her boys.

    Reply
    1. Mel

      Alice I could hug you!!! Not a single judgement passed in your comment and I agree with you entirely!!! xx Wishing you all a lovely weekend and a happy life xx

      Reply
      1. Alice

        Hug back, its not for us to judge others. :(
        Thank you, and same back for happy weekend and life. Xxx

        Reply
  11. Leslie

    I believe you have a point. However, by the logic of that same point, it makes no sense for you to say,
    “ I have no doubt she was a good mother, she was kind and that she loved them.”
    Many sorts of good mothers there may be, but just like those whose opinions you’re condemning, “You have no idea.”
    She is dead and her children are motherless. This is sad. It is a tragedy. The specific shape and manner of tragedy is no more your business than it is anyone’s, and shifting blame back a generation or stirring it into Peaches’ DNA is no less speculative.

    Reply
  12. melissa

    Youve written this perfectly, I think its very sad some still feel the need to continue nastiness in your comments. Continuing to say ‘well this happened to me and im not repeating it’ – you are not her. I hate this whole assumption that life is just a series of choices like you always have complete control, you dont, you cant see the future so one small choice maybe years beforehand couldlead to a devastating circumstance like this. Its not as black and white as choosing wether to do something or not, and its not as simple as youve seen the bad effects so they should prevent you from repeating – millions will smoke after seeing a loved one die of lung cancer – yet if they are struck down with lung cancer nobody would dream of being so visciously horrid to wish them dead because it ultimately was their lifestyle choice. A life is lost, a young life, this is all that matters, it is traggic and heartbreaking. Nobody has the right to pass judgement. The motto used above is perfect, if everybody followed this the world would be a much nicer place, and if you really are lacking in empathy then maybe remember the phrase “if you havent got anything nice to say then be quiet”

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  13. Marion

    I think we should all be aware that Peaches is only one of scores, if not hundreds, of people, young and old, who die of drug overdoses, prescription and illicitly obtained, intentional and accidental, each year. She gets the media’s outraged comment because her parents achieved so much. The saintly media bods achieve nothing but heartache for others and fat bank balances for themselves.
    “Walk in their shoes.”

    Reply
  14. Marina

    I cant help but feel desperately sad for Peaches. Its all very easy for all of us to sit in judgment on her, but none of us had to live her life. I see her as a desperately broken little girl, who despite outward appearances, never managed to shake off her broken past. To lose a mother in such a way at such an impressionable age wrecked her life. Maybe she just didnt get the right support and help to allow her to move into adulthood as a well balanced young woman. Materially she had it all, emotionally she had very little and probably the drugs were almost like a comfort blanket to replace her mothers love. Of course she shouldn’t have used heroin full stop, let alone in front of her baby, we all know that. But surely most people could find it in their hearts not to judge her? We dont know what drove her to this, we never will, and I hope no one who is passing judgment on Peaches ever has to face the type of problems she had to deal with. Too much trauma in her childhood has contributed to this, and whereas she made her own choices, they were the wrong choices and not the choices a happy, well adjusted, secure young woman woukd have made. Please think of her family, think of her inner torment, and keep bad thoughts to yourselves.

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  15. Mummy2Boo

    My anger is the not thinking of her children every time she took the drug? We all may feel sorry for her and her past struggles, as I did. But she blatantly took a killer drug over the love of her children? Her mum died with a child present and now she has so let’s hope the child that was present doesn’t follow suit! Congratulations to Sir Bob though on the announcement of his marriage :)

    Reply
  16. Kitty

    I agree its so very sad. I do wonder though what sympathies would be applied if this was an ‘ordinary’ struggling young married mother living in a tower block in an inner city. We still have a belief that somehow being famous makes these situations more understandable.

    Reply
  17. Sara

    Funny how when she died everyone was so saddened, ‘she was a great mum’ ‘she turned her life around’ now she’s labelled as scum n a bad mother by some.
    There are so many points here: none of us know what happened, none of us know if she was a good mum, we saw what she wanted us to see, said what she wanted us to hear. Like we all do every day.
    Facts are, she is dead and news papers are there to sell stories… The juicer the better. Another fact, two kiddies have no mummy.
    Another. We will never truly know what happened, it will always be speculation and something those boys will Never have answers to.

    Reply
  18. Terry Doherty

    Such a shame and waste of a good life.I hope that this event is quickly taken out of the public glare and the family is left to deal with this in their own way.
    I also hope that Peaches memory does not become some sort of icon or legend as has happened with other well known personalities .This only detracts from the fact that she was a mummy and a wife and daughter.Everything else is irrelevant.

    Reply
  19. Mike

    Thank you for your insight. But for the GRACE of God there go I. Very sad for all. Better the whole world think me a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.

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  20. Jo

    I think it’s a tragedy. But she was an adult and made her own choices. She chose to use heroin on that day or any other day whether that was the cause of her death or not is now not relevant, fact is two children will grow up like she did with the stigma that their mother chose heroin over them just like her mother chose it over her. Living with those feelings as she did she must have known that by taking that same path she was burdening her children with the same stigma. To me that is selfish. To be a good mum you put your children above everything ” I would die for my kids” is a saying we as good parents use and maybe she thought she was doing them a favour when in reality she has continued the cycle. My thoughts go very much to her children her husband and her father who will be devastated by these revelations. Who will end this cycle?

    Reply
    1. sharon

      exactly couldnt have put it better myself its those around her who are left to pick up the pieces an try to explain to those little lambs where their mother has gone they say what goes round comes round i hope it doesnt come round again

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  21. Stevtel

    Sorry but people choose to take drugs it is a choice nobody forces anyone to take them. This is a women who came across very strong minded and family oriented after the birth of her first child. So to me she knows right from wrong and class A drugs are illegal and she choose to bring them into her family.. And yes some people are born addicts and it’s past on from there parents … However this is a person who had access to the best care in the world that most people could only dream of or afford… She CHOOSE not to seek help that is available and she could afford the very best help… There are people in this world who have hit rock bottom and have fought through it by seeking help… She CHOOSE not to… All that is FACT .. I am by no means attacking her she probably was a nice person and I’m not condoning what social media is saying about her… However drugs are drugs and we all know there wrong so why do people try to justify people taking them every time something tragic like this happens ..

    Reply
    1. Anita turner

      I agree so many people just seem to be making excuses for her saying she’s depressed peer pressure blah blah blah got no sympathy she knew what she was taking and as people say she’s suppose to be an intelligent woman also lost her own mother to heroin she had been taking heroin long before she had kids .

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  22. Jenny @ The Brick Castle

    I think the whole thing is desperately sad. When people grow up in awful and stressful conditions they can either pull themselves out of it or they can’t – it’s not a decision they can make. She was obviously never able to find that strength.

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    1. linda

      yes , I agree with you . Maybe , she felt so tired …. and when you’re that tired , you’re not in a good place , and maybe she was more vulnerable or depressed , than she ever showed ?

      linda .

      Reply
  23. puddleduck

    I do wonder whether she may have had postnatal depression and this was a cry for help that went wrong. The coroner said that heroin had a role to play in her death – he didn’t make any comment about her being a habitual user etc etc which would be fairly easy for a pathologist to tell. It’s very very sad, I grew up in the same town (I got married at the church where her funeral was held ) and the family were just part of the community. Sir Bob was incrediably generous with his time and his house and garden where the local church fete would be held each year and he would always invites some celeb friends to come in order to attract more people.

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  24. sharon

    very sad and very tragic another young life lost to drugs as so many more before her and there will be many more to come .what i cant get my head around is its the same way she lost her own mother so peaches has grown up with out her mothers love, and has now inflicted the same fate on her own precious children and if people dont think thats just a bit selfish ,im sorry , i disagree

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  25. mihael

    He who has not sinned…… Cast the first stone.. Drinking …taking drugs …eating crap food its all relative….. The kids will be well looked after ,better. Than the kids of war in Africa.!!!

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  26. Maria Noell

    It is just incredibly sad… I feel distraught for her boys and I feel that it is easy to judge and be disappointed but everyone has to live their lives every day, nobody can do it for you. Nobody knows what she has been through and i’m sure if she was told how to gt rid of her inner demons, she would have done it. I don’t doubt that she loved and treasured her sons and the most part of her life. She was the ‘celebrity’ who I loved following on instagram and twitter and I believe a lot of love went in to every photo. I think at this point, what is done is done! We should give credit where credit is due. There is no such thing as a perfect parent or a perfect person but she did an excellent job with her sons while she was here and she did try and keep her life as normal and out of the spotlight as possible. Lets just hope that the boys will carry those memories around with them and in years to come when they want to know what happened, they will stumble across people’s responses and see support rather than judgement, lets face it, those boys have done nothing wrong and don’t deserve the cycle to carry on it to their future’s xxx

    Reply
  27. Josephine Croghan

    So easy to judge people who we nothing about. When children lose a parent at such a young age it has a terrible effect on them as can cause serious problems which only crop up as they develop and grow. People deal with this in different ways so no I am not going to judge Peaches on how she died or if she meant to kill herself. I believe she was a good wife and mother and loved her children so much but maybe she was in a really dark place and needed something to get through life. As the parent of children who lost their Dad at an early age from cancer and I also lost my partner to suicide in 2012 I think I know a good bit about despair and see how it effect us daily so as the saying goes ” don’t judge until you have walked in that person’s shoes”.

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  28. Kamran

    I agree with the author about judging others without understanding their situation. However, I can’t help but think that this rule can be applied to anyone and everyone. A murderer, drug dealer, child rapist, drunk driver – regardless of who they are you can apply the “you don’t know what struggle they’re going through” line. The take home points from this discussion are that 1) let’s not judge each other because we don’t know what situation everyone else is in but also that 2) she was indeed doing something wrong, dangerous, risky, etc etc and a considerable part of her own stupidity and poor life choices are to blame. Whatever situation in life we’re born into we all have brains and all have choices.

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  29. Nina

    Couldnt have written a better article. For those of you fortunate enough to have both parents let me tell you when Peaches and others like her including myself have lost out on, on a mother/daughter relationship: Choosing your secondary school, becoming a young lady, girlie talks, your first boyfriend, your first child and pregnacy related issues especially if you are not a good carer, sick days mum there to comfort you, boyfriend trouble, marriage….should I go on? IT HURTS no matter your outlook to others it HURTS RIP PEACHES

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  30. Caroline

    How judgemental can you all be please???
    I find it heartbreaking not just for her family but for peaches herself , the mind is horrible thing, especially a troubled mind, … Unless you have been in her situation with her thoughts no one can judge, so get off your high horses. We all make mistakes sadly peaches cost her her life . Instead of dragging this mothers name through the mud , let her family grieve an her soul rest

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  31. Sarah

    Yes, I also tend to follow the motto “Walk a mile in their shoes before passing comment”………….however, another I favour is “learn from your mistakes” whether that be your own experience or as a result of the actions of others. Even more so when the effects can be so devastating. Doubly so, if it impacts on children. In my opinion, I don’t doubt she was a good mother……what she wasn’t was a responsible parent. Sadly, neither was her own mother.

    There are also 3 other young ladies who have grown up under the same circumstances. Lets hope any genes or pre determind impulses have skipped them so when the time comes for them to start a family of their own, they ARE responsible parents.

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  32. Mannish Boy

    Wholeheartedly agree with you four-zero. You can climb a thousand mountains and feel victorious. But the next one can still kill you.

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  33. cwismif

    Drug addiction is a powerful illness that can override decision making processes – saying that she CHOSE to do this and that may be a little naive.

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  34. Lmum

    As it seems no one has actually listened to the reports I will reiterate. It was found in her system and MAY have been what killed her! It doesn’t mean she took it around in front of or near her children. I’m sure there is more than one person on here with a habit that wouldn’t be suitable around their children. And there seem to be so many people with expert opinions. I think until we hear a definite cause in July people should keep their mouths shut because her family are going through hell and don’t need to be reading about your opinions.

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  35. Sarah clark

    I liked her. I still do. I think she was a tortured soul. Thinking of her bereft family at this time xx

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  36. Charlotte

    Maybe she was so broken from the death of her mother, media harrasment and various other things that we do not know of, that she didn’t feel she could be the mother they needed no matter how hard she tried, perhaps she felt she would fail and took her own life, perhaps she didn’t take it at all and some foul play is involved (perfect crime, drug a young women with a “history” of substance abuse) , perhaps it was one stupid decision made on one dark day (the fact she had just posted a photo of her and her mother…) Perhaps, perhaps perhaps.

    The point is we do not know.

    The thing we do know is that she was troubled, she was incredibly vocal about her problems, she was physically and mentally unwell and regardless of upbringing or trauma, illness leads you to do and see things In a way no one else can comprehend, even If they have suffered the same losses or illnesses, each individuals reaction, behavior and ability to come out the other side is markedly different.

    There is no good to come from nastiness about her choices/behavior (speculated or otherwise). All this negativity doesn’t affect her. She is gone. However her father and husband are still here, hearing their little girl/wife be abused and accused and their instinct will be to protect her even in death. And all of this junk, her children will see. Regardless of it being truth or fiction, they will see that the world was horrible about their mum..
    And what will that turn them in to?

    As people, our job is to learn from others mistakes and not repeat them, yes, but has anyone stopped to think and realise that peaches grew up hearing these things said about her own mother, and look how that turned out! Just an observation…

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  37. NorthEastView

    There are plenty of high functioning heroin users around, though it is clearly a drug with severe risks. Many parents drink alcohol in the presence of their children, perhaps quite a lot if their kids are in bed. What if they got sick or there was an emergency and you couldn’t function because you drank? Alcohol is implicated in far more accidents/ abuse cases than heroin, but it is comforting to feel the drug you take is ‘normal’ and ‘ok’, but that others choices are irresponsible.

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  38. Rebecca

    If this is perceived as passing judgement then so be it, but unless you’ve walked mile after mile, year after year in the shoes of a child left behind after such a tragedy, never knowing why the only person you had in the whole world to look up to put their own selfish needs before those of her own child, her own flesh and blood that they conceived, carried, gave birth to and nurtured, whether that period in the child’s lifetime be as short as a few months or as long as however many years you had with the only person you ever called mum..AND never, ever knowing the reason why they did what they did, then you have no right to pass judgment either…

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  39. susan

    I really do understand your article but I do think we as a society need to stop making excuses for these addictions what not only ruin that persons life but those who they leave behind.
    just because a parent dies of an overdose doesn’t mean the kids should go the same way or should be excused for going the same way because their parent did and if anyone thinks that’s a justified reason may god help you!
    the news was of no surprise to me whatsoever, she had already faced the addiction, as soon as the headline appeared that she was dead, i exclaimed she had had a heroin overdose.
    Her death is not a tragedy as she had it all to live for, however her little children are the tragedy because this society now tells them its ok if you go and do the same.as your mother!

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  40. Lyn

    Does anyone think by poring over the details of this tragedy and it is,for two small children to be without thier mother , it changes one thing. There are too many what ifs and maybes. I personally think unless you’ve never made a mistake or lived a blemish free life, don’t speculate. Will the facts of this case ever really be known? Leave her memory rest in peace for the sake of those two children who undoubtedly will be affected by her death and it’s circumstances

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  41. jane

    I have read all comments.i suffer with bipolar an I have a personality disorder.my mum died wen I was very young..my dad was not a nice man.How can anyone excuse the use of Heroin? We have our own minds.wud u not want to give ur child the love affection attention u missed? Yes her death is saddening. But how sad for her children to grow up motherless? We certainly don’t no what goes on behind close doors. .. The fact was wen she died it was in all our minds? ? Heroin..?? Now her children will grow up with the same stigma as she did over her mum.An I certainly don’t think she was forced. Am not being cruel and it is a cruel circle but why have children knowing you are an addict

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  42. Lana

    Addiction is a way of feeling sorry for yourself, it’s not an illness. Once you take responsibility for giving life, not even once you have no right to make a mistake.you entitle yourself to a life long responsibly for someone else’s life. It’s not about you anymore. That’s why talking is so important and have people around you can trust. Tidy up in your head.

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  43. Sarah MumofThree World

    Such a good post. We haven’t lived her life, we know nothing of this sort of lifestyle. But there’s no indication of suicide, just that heroin contributed to her death. There is a lot more of this sad story to come out and in the meantime there are two very small children without a mother who will grow up in the spotlight. Will the cycle end for them?

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  44. Anon

    No-one knows what happened so it’s unfair to draw harsh conclusions. I would like to say though that just because someone has an adult brain, doesn’t mean that brain is functioning as it should. That’s why we have the mental capacity act/mental health act….

    I took drugs with my children in the house. They were prescription drugs that I wanted to kill myself with. I was depressed. Does that make me a bad person? A bad mother?

    This *could* have been her motive? It’s well known that if you haven’t touched heroin for a while then take the same amount you used to it can easily kill you. Speculation of course but another that could have happened but people jump to conclusions without knowing the fact.

    RIP Peaches :( thoughts are with her family xx

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  45. Matt

    I feel for her kids, and I think that Michael Hutchins child should never have been left with bob geldof he’ll fuck her life up too. Michaels parents should be awarded custody so she doesn’t go down the same route. There are millions of people that suffer from depression that don’t have the wealth she did to get the best help possible. I bet people wouldn’t feel the same anger at these comments if it was a single mum on a council estate on welfare, so why the fuck are they getting so upset about her, she’s no more important than all the other millions of drug addicts that kill themselves by overdosing every day.

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  46. Dean

    I have to agree with the comment above. How about she walked a mile in other peoples shoes who are less fortunate than her, then she would have something to be depressed about. I should also imagine following the Satanist Alester Crowley didn’t contribute to her mental health either? I mean how on earth does a person who believes in such a sick perverts teachings get to write for Mother & Baby magazine? It’s a sad waste of life :(

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  47. Shomemo

    I completely agree the focus should be on that of her children & husband. The tragedy that they are enduring now is awful. I have never been an addict, so I cannot comment on her thought process, taking drugs while solely in charge of a baby under 1. I can say I don’t agree wjth it & I think it’s an awful thing to do from an outside perspective, but with no real basis. I think it’s a bit sad to have said “I’m not about to let my boys down for anything.” While taking drugs all along, is some way shape or form. The fact that it seems she was seeking some kind of help shows that it had just had a hold on her that she was probably desperately trying to break.
    What I cannot understand is people who say it’s linked to her genes etc. she has three other sisters. One sister even lost both of her parents, and they lead lives. So to say it’s a cycle and was almost bound to happen is the wrong statement.
    Overall it’s just a bit sad that she didn’t cope well with the loss of her mother (who by all accounts was actually a bit of a selfish woman who put hutchence before everything), and now her boys who she did clearly dote on, will have to live on without her. I feel sad for her husband widowed at such a young age, I hope he does exactly what he said in his statement.

    Unfortunately people don’t realise that what they write on the internet will be there for when her boys are old enough to find it – long after they’ve forgotten what they said.

    Hopefully this shines a spotlight on addiction and Bob turns his charitable raising to helping try & end ‘cycles’ like this.

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  48. Mark

    For those who say don’t pass judgement. Do they really apply this themselves??
    Never passed judgement on a neighbour?
    Never passed judgement on those who are critical of peaches?
    Never passed judgement on anyone?

    I doubt it, we all pass judgement everyday. The internet just means you are now more aware of other peoples judgement that disagrees with your own.

    I’ll be honest, I’m too removed to care one way or the other. There will be some poor children left in exactly the same position but without the money and the fame, meaning only those local to them will be passing judgement.

    I could not even tell you what the girl was famous for, but that is luck of the draw, some of us get wealth and fame, which means everyone has something to say about us. Some of us will never be known and our successes and failures will be ignored in equal measure.

    Fame does not stop with the good things we do. In a way tragedy and mistakes are far more news worthy, than just going out and doing the shopping.

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  49. Clare

    I was one of those people who made a negative comment about Peaches on my fbk status- and i stand by this – im 34yrs old now my sister is 20, our mother died suddenly at the age of 48, my sister was 12. My mother was a Heroin addict from when i was about 4, she then went i to take Methodone until the day she died plus every other drug going (cocaine, Valium ) She didnt die of a typical overdose but her body had basically had enough and she had a cardiac arrest and died. It was the most awful day of my life especially as i had a very screwed up dad and a confused 12 yr old sister to look after? And seeing what drugs did to my mum and my family i would never ever touch the stuff and neither would my sister? So i think the worse part about this tragic story and what i personally find very hard to understand is why Peaches would make the choice her own choice to repeat what her mother did knowing the hurt and upset it would cause her children and family? So yeh i stand by what i say, she may have been messed up by what happened to her mum but we all have choices in life and she chose to risk her life the same way her mother did knowing the effects it would have on her children and now her children and family have to deal with the consequences.

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  50. Honest Mum

    So well said, my Mum and I said the same thing when hearing this, so so sad how judgemental people can be. Peaches loved her children and as you note, the cycle hasn’t been broken, devastating x

    Reply

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