I do often feel a teeny bit sorry for my husband. Sometimes. He often says something that riles me, that results in an argument and afterwards, if I really thought about it, the opposite thing he could have said, probably would have riled me as well. He was in a bit of a lose/lose situation. In the interest of open, honest conversation, I have told him that. Just so he knows, I know.
HOWEVER….I do worry about where his head is at, when he pipes up with some real beauties, thank quite frankly are very very brave, but could only end in tears.
Like, last night. We are both tired. He’s had a full day rehearsal on his secret BBC project, then spent the evening lugging furniture around in preparation for our new carpet fitting. I’m tired, because, well because I always am. Light off, head on pillow and he says “We really do have a lot of crap in this house. We need to sort it out”.
*Deep Breathes”. I don’t know about you, but in my house, I’m the sorter. I’m the one that buys new kids clothes, packs away old clothes, sorts through old clothes and, when I’m in the right “sorting” mood, I will sort through them and send some off to friends, some to charity and some to the bin. The same with toys and furniture. Hubby is not the least bit interested in doing this. He’s never done it. I have NEVER seen him declutter. Once every few years he grabs a load of his own clothes and takes them to charity, but that’s it. He has no interest in anyone elses.
So you can imagine how well that comment went down. It came from a good place. He was merely commenting on what is actually the truth, but I’m a doer not a talker and I’d just prefer it if he said “We have such a lot of stuff and I know between us we have no time to sort it so I’m going to spend a few days sorting stuff into piles and if you could give them the once over we can get rid of a load of crap upstairs”. That would have been more useful wouldn’t it.
Unfortunately he didn’t say that. He made a comment about something he has never ever sorted and quite frankly he got it with both barrels. Nothing like having the grump with each other as you fall asleep.
Two weeks ago, he did a similar thing. What was more frustrating was that after the argument ensued, he said he’d been quite worried about saying something but decided to say something which was the STUPIDIEST decision.
He had gone out with the kids for the afternoon so I could have a bit of down time with a small hangover. In that time I had cleaned a bathroom and done 3 loads of washing. I did get a 2 hour nap in as well, but that was the point of me staying at home. I don’t tend to blow my own trumpet when I do everyday, normal, family maintenance jobs like this, so when he got back and started to get the bath ready for the kids, he was clearly in a grump. I could see it. I didn’t ask and then he couldn’t help himself. “You could have emptied the dishwasher while I was out”. ARGGHHHHH.
Needless to say, the poor bugger got an earful from me.
Anyone else got a better award for the “Stupidiest thing to say to a Spouse”?
I’ve linked this back to Mummy Barrow’s Ranty Friday. Click on the pic below if you fancy reading more rants.