I am really bloody angry. I’m fed up to the back teeth of people who write articles, blogs or tweets about something that they can take the moral high ground on. Something they do/don’t do, but they know darn well others do/don’t.
- Breastfeeding/Bottle feeding
- Natural Childbirth/C-sections
- Nursery or Childminders/Stay at home care
- Stay at home parents and Working parents
The Perfect Scenario – so we are told
You have a baby naturally (no drugs), you sail through breastfeeding (feed as late as possible, but not too late – there’s a whole other brigade ready to leap on you if you do), you Stay at Home until your child is in school (if you don’t do SOMETHING once they’ve started school you WILL be vilified – “What do you do all day?”), you then make sure that your work to homelife balance is just right so you can stay on everyones side.
Life doesn’t work like that.
Nor should it.
I don’t want to live in a world where everyone does the same thing. I want to live in a world where everyone gets to do what they want to do, they have choice. Sometimes that choice doesn’t seem like a choice at all, it’s what they have to do, but then we need to make sure that it still works, that its still safe and right. Hey, and if you get the perfect scenario and it works for you I’m really pleased for you. Maybe a little bit jealous.
I really don’t give a shit if you breastfeed or not. I’m pro breastfeeding, I think if you can, you should. If you can’t then bottle feeding is the next best thing. Give it a good shot. Don’t give it a good shot (especially if it’s a psychological reason), I really don’t care.
Have a baby as safely as you can.
Homebirths sound awesome to me. Could I have done it? No way. I don’t have that much faith in myself to be able to remain calm. Every likely situation that may go wrong will be sitting there, right in front of my head. Wasn’t right for me. It may be right for you. Go for it. Gather the information, talk to people, make the decision.
Go to hospital if you like. If that will make you happy, have your lovely baby in the hospital. Have a go without drugs? Why not, it’s what we are designed for.
Don’t fancy the pain? Cool. Have some drugs.
Can’t deliver your baby naturally? Gave it a good shot? You’re in luck, we have the very best of care in hospitals. You can have a c-section.
Want to head straight for an elective c-section? Ooh, controversial. You must have your reasons. You know the risks, you’ve weighed them up. Go for it. You just want the best for you and your baby. Happy mother, happy baby. I get it.
I could go on. I might.
The whole SAHM vs Working mum malarkey is starting to really piss me off. Some people work and some people don’t. Some people HAVE TO work. Some people don’t. Some people like working outside the home. Some people really enjoying looking after their children full time. Some people like to mix the two of them up. GET OVER IT!
Some of us put our children in nursery. Some of us don’t have the choice. Some of us are vigilant and would not bat an eyelid at having to take our children out of any situation where we think there might be any danger or where there is inappropriate care. We are paying attention. We just think that people should be given the choice and that choice should be safe and right.
I get that the Perfect Scenario is good.
I don’t get that variations on it are bad.
And just for the record. Every time you post your opinion on something that you know is the opposite of what someone else does, you are putting them down. You are making yourself feel better about your decisions by making other people feel bad. End of.
However, offering support, supporting those that make different decisions and might be struggling with that and being sympathetic to that, well that costs nothing. It’s actually quite nice.
“You can’t really understand another person’s experience until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.”
Bear that in mind next time.