Tag Archives: breastfeeding

A C-section, Bottle feeding, Nursery using Working Mum

I am really bloody angry.  I’m fed up to the back teeth of people who write articles, blogs or tweets about something that they can take the moral high ground on.  Something they do/don’t do, but they know darn well others do/don’t.

  • Breastfeeding/Bottle feeding
  •  Natural Childbirth/C-sections
  •  Nursery or Childminders/Stay at home care
  •  Stay at home parents and Working parents

The Perfect Scenario – so we are told

You have a baby naturally (no drugs), you sail through breastfeeding (feed as late as possible, but not too late – there’s a whole other brigade ready to leap on you if you do), you Stay at Home until your child is in school (if you don’t do SOMETHING once they’ve started school you WILL be vilified – “What do you do all day?”), you then make sure that your work to homelife balance is just right so you can stay on everyones side.

Life doesn’t work like that.

Nor should it.

I don’t want to live in a world where everyone does the same thing.  I want to live in a world where everyone gets to do what they want to do, they have choice.  Sometimes that choice doesn’t seem like a choice at all, it’s what they have to do, but then we need to make sure that it still works, that its still safe and right.  Hey, and if you get the perfect scenario and it works for you I’m really pleased for you.  Maybe a little bit jealous.Angel Mother

I really don’t give a shit if you breastfeed or not.  I’m pro breastfeeding, I think if you can, you should. If you can’t then bottle feeding is the next best thing.  Give it a good shot. Don’t give it a good shot (especially if it’s a psychological reason), I really don’t care.

Have a baby as safely as you can.

Homebirths sound awesome to me. Could I have done it?  No way. I don’t have that much faith in myself to be able to remain calm.  Every likely situation that may go wrong will be sitting there, right in front of my head.  Wasn’t right for me.  It may be right for you.  Go for it. Gather the information, talk to people, make the decision.

Go to hospital if you like. If that will make you happy, have your lovely baby in the hospital.  Have a go without drugs?  Why not, it’s what we are designed for.

Don’t fancy the pain? Cool. Have some drugs.

Can’t deliver your baby naturally?  Gave it a good shot?  You’re in luck, we have the very best of care in hospitals.  You can have a c-section.

Want to head straight for an elective c-section?  Ooh, controversial.  You must have your reasons. You know the risks, you’ve weighed them up.  Go for it.  You just want the best for you and your baby.  Happy mother, happy baby. I get it.

I could go on.  I might.

The whole SAHM vs Working mum malarkey is starting to really piss me off.  Some people work and some people don’t.  Some people HAVE TO work. Some people don’t. Some people like working outside the home. Some people really enjoying looking after their children full time.  Some people like to mix the two of them up.  GET OVER IT!

Some of us put our children in nursery.  Some of us don’t have the choice.  Some of us are vigilant and would not bat an eyelid at having to take our children out of any situation where we think there might be any danger or where there is inappropriate care.  We are paying attention.  We just think that people should be given the choice and that choice should be safe and right.

I get that the Perfect Scenario is good.

I don’t get that variations on it are bad.

And just for the record.  Every time you post your opinion on something that you know is the opposite of what someone else does, you are putting them down.  You are making yourself feel better about your decisions by making other people feel bad. End of.

However, offering support, supporting those that make different decisions and might be struggling with that and being sympathetic to that, well that costs nothing. It’s actually quite nice.

“You can’t really understand another person’s experience until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.”

Bear that in mind next time.

My top 5 rants

Car cleaning, Deliveries, Neighbours, Social Networking and Breast vs bottle.

I was recently tagged by 3childrenandit to take part in a meme.  I have been invited to do memes before but have never done so, partly because I don’t really know what I’m doing.  I thought I’d take part but am unlikely to link on as I can’t think of a single blogger who I’d feel comfortable asking.  I’m still fairly new in this blogging journey and don’t want to upset anyone.  Feel free to take part though.  This meme is a list of my top 5 rants and I’m rather disappointed it’s been set at 5………give me a soapbox and I’ll be there all day.  So here they are.

1. People cleaning their windscreen on motorways

Ok. it’s not an earth shattering issue, but it serious winds me up.  134903718_tpWhy wait until you are driving 80 miles an hour before deciding to turn on the squirters and therefore sending 90% of the water into the sky and straight into my windscreen.  At which point I have to use my squirters and wipers to clear my windscreen and ….. well the problem keeps going.  Wash your bleedin windscreen before you leave home, or whilst on a quieter road.

2. Inept delivery people

There is a number on my house.  The number on my house corresponds to the number on the parcel…………….so it makes sense to ring the doorbell of the house with the same number right?  Well apparently not.  Why deliver to me, at home on a Friday, when you can push a card through next doors door, that they won’t remember to bring around until the next day, that I will then have to trek somewhere to pick up the parcel.  Grrrrrr.  Oh, and don’t ring my doorbell and then scarper, because if I’m not home, leaving a massive box at my front door is not really how I like to have my goods looked after, in full view of the footpath and road.

3. Noisy neighbours

I like to think I’m a considerate neighbour.  In the 3 years I’ve lived here I’ve never had a “party” and when we’ve had visitors, we’ve stayed indoors if it’s after 11pm.  I don’t let my children run about in the garden before 10am either, which I think is quite a reasonable thing to do.  Unfortunately the same can’t be said of my neighbours. Noisy-Neighbours One side particularly has made my summer’s a bundle of anxiety because they’ve held parties without telling us.  I am of an anxious disposition and do get insomnia, so this just means I spend my weekends with my shoulders at my ears anticipating every sound coming over the fence.  Back in the day, didn’t people used to pop notes through doors to notify of an impending party?  I know I did when I had my 21st party.  I probably wasn’t loud at all, but I delivered a note to everyone behind my house and all around the cul-de-sac.  I’ve complained (nicely) enough to the teenagers next door and last year the teenagers did notify us and it was a much more enjoyable summer. Fingers crossed they will extend the same courtesy next year.  But notes people!!! Give us notice.

4.  People who don’t get social networks or blogs

Mention to someone that you are on twitter and they pull a face as if there is something wrong with you.  Suggest you were chatting to someone you’ve never met and they’ve filed you under “nutcase” in their memory.  Why is this such a hard concept to understand?  Why are people so judgemental about the way people interact?  I can see the wry smile creeping across a work colleagues face when I told him I had 3 people on Facebook who I’ve never met but who I chatted to for about 5 years on an infertility forum and who fitted under my “friends” category to be on Facebook.  Like they are imaginary or something!!  I don’t go up to you at a bar and ask why you are chatting to the person you’re standing next to. “Don’t talk to them………you don’t know them”.  There are more strangers than friends out there, some us aren’t so interested in chatting to random people in person, but via a screen, it’s easier, it’s safer and (I think) more intimate.  There are people on twitter and who read my blog that probably know more about me that some real life people I’ve known for 5 years.  Stop being so judgemental and stop staring at me like that.  I like it.  What’s your problem?

5.  Breast vs Bottle debating

Oh goodness. I’m not even sure I want to get into this. It’s such a big debate.  Nobody wins, nobody loses, and that goes for the children too.  I’m a big breastfeeding advocate. I have supported friends, offered advice that I’ve known of, I have encouraged and applauded…..but I didn’t breastfeed.  baby-bottle-220Breast is ABSOLUTELY the best thing to give baby but there are a lot of different reasons why women don’t breastfeed and like lots of things to do with parenting, everyone does things differently.  I tried, I failed, I was in pain, I had an infection from the C-section, nobody helped me in the hospital (in fact quite the opposite), I was emotional and completely at sea.  I used formula, but did get to see a great breastfeeding counsellor who sorted out a pump for me and I did give (meagre amounts) of breast milk for 4 weeks amongst my formula. For my son, I tried again, but didn’t give myself a hard time. Another C-Section to recover from, a mum and baby that weren’t very good at it, no support.  Formula is not made from poison.  It contains lots of good stuff and is very very adequate for baby’s development.  It’s not perfect, breast milk is, but it’s not awful either.  Why other parents think it’s their job to dictate how people feed their children (when they are feeding them, we aren’t talking no food here) is beyond me.  By all means, push for more acceptance of breastfeeding in public (I’m right behind you) and try to get more funding for more support in hospitals, that’s a great idea, but don’t start telling me that putting formula on prescription and bullying new mums is the right thing to do. It isn’t. Breast is best but Formula is food.  That’s all I’m saying. So everyone stop argueing about it. Play nicely.

Well, wouldn’t you know……..I seem to have got in my ranting groove there.  Sorry if I’ve offended anyone, clearly all subjects close to my heart.  That’s what makes us all so interesting though.  What gets my goat, doesn’t get yours.  What are your big rants then?  Fancy blogging about it?