Tag Archives: friends at 40

School mums

Huddled over, whispering, smiling, turning to wave as familiar faces pass, reminding each other of people they know….

“Wonder what she’s doing”, “Did you hear that they didn’t get the house”?  “Well, what was she thinking, it’s miles out of the catchment area”.

School mums.  A rare breed of creature, especially adapted for the harsh school ground environment, prone to working in packs, skilled at the eye roll, experienced in dressing for every occasion.

I am a school mum, kind of.  My frantic drop on Wednesday and Thursdays allows me to be one for about 15 minutes.  Fridays I can be more leisurely but I’m not yet that rare breed, because I barely know anybody there.  My husband is more the school mum than me as he always does Monday and Tuesdays and often the other two days if he’s about.  He’s used to being ignored, he’s been a partime stay at home dad for 5 years and often finds himself on the outside of these circles.

Although this is all changing slightly, for him and me.  We ARE getting to know some of the people in the playground.  Our constant attendance has caught their attention.  My daughter has made friends and those friends have badgered their mum to talk to me because I presume they want to go over each others houses.  I’ve taken some opportunities to engage in the odd sentence or two “ahhh that’s Ethan is it.  I hear a lot about Ethan”.  Of course I’m usually met with an awkward stony silence, but I don’t think it’s intentional.

I blogged about my lack of friends here and nothing has really changed.  What I have become more aware of is that I’m not really that bothered about being ignored.  I think it’s age or experience or both, but I don’t blame the other mums for ignoring me.  They are currently unaware of my awesomeness (!), my strong sense of loyalty and my kind(ish) nature.  If they knew, they’d all be pouncing on me and inviting me to coffee morning left right and centre.  I am a grownup and I know how these things work.  Cliques are natural creations (mostly) and it’s hard to get into them.  My cautiousness helps me out a bit here, it allows me to sit back, assess and make judgements, good and bad, on whether I think I want to commit.

So like a lioness, I shall circle these mums, assess and review and I will smile, I will engage and I will bide my time.  I have time.  Who knows, one of them might end up being my best friend.