Tag Archives: lightning speed

Why Parenting is a lot like Being a Secret Agent

I’m thinking of applying to be a Secret Agent. I really do think I’ve got the necessary skills.

Highly Honed Hearing

  • I can hear a dummy drop whilst still asleep…. and by the sound of it, pinpoint exactly where to fish about for it in the dark
  • I can perceive the tiniest change of tone in my 6 year old’s voice and locate a suitable phrase within seconds to head off any drama.

Lightning speed

  • I can get a tea towel or other absorbent item in front of my child seconds before they are sick, I’m that fast!
  • I am able to get my hand under a falling glass when it is just millimetres from the ground.

Slight of hand/conjurer

  • I have mastered the task of presenting a banana or snack bar that HAD been broken as if it had NEVER been broken.  Taa Daa.
  • The ability to remove toys from the house by means of what I call “The Shawshank” method.

Being Multilingual

  • As proficient as speaking Octonauts as I am at speaking Barbie
  • Able to have a normal English adult conversation about house prices on one side of the dinner table whilst continuing a toddler angled one on the other related to peas, broccoli and the negotiation of chocolate buttons.

Drinking a dry Martini

  • Well, actually no.   Just hand me a glass of Rosé.  . Quickly!
Secret Agent T40YO

Secret Agent T40YO

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