Tag Archives: new relationships

First kiss, First Love, First sex

I was having a chat on Twitter with Post-40Bloggers about firsts yesterday.

Who can remember their first kiss, first love, first sex?

If there is one thing I will tell my daughter and son as they grow up is that you think firsts won’t matter that much but you will be asked the question a zillion times in your lifetime so make sure it’s a story you want to talk about.  One that doesn’t make you look like a complete plonker.

I hate firsts.  To be honest, I hate seconds and thirds.  I’m at my happiest on about 10ths. I’m more secure, less paranoid, know the lay of the land (so to speak).  I guess it won’t surprise you I’m not a big fan of the unknown and unfortunately “firsts” fall into that category.  Serial shaggers or people who hop from one relationship to the next for the buzz of “firsts” are like aliens to me.  I’m waaaay on the other side of the fence.

First kiss?  Sadly it was with a complete stranger and coincided with my first bit of alcohol at the age of 17.  (yes…..I was a late bloomer).  I’d drunk one can (!)of vodka and passiona and I was OFF MY HEAD.  I remember it being quite nice.  To be honest, it would never have happened for years had alcohol not been involved.  Far too shy.

First sex and first love coincided.  Although not in the lovely sweet way you could imagine.  My parents were away in the UK and I was in Oz in the family home with my sister.  I was 18 and a half and I “picked up” a guy in a nightclub.  My friend and I knew his mate from school so all four of us drove back to mine.  It was the weirdest thing in the world that at that precise moment, after waiting over 18 years (and being the last of my mates to lose my virginity) it was absolutely the right thing to do.  Even though it was with some bloke I’d only just met.  I’m not embarrassed by this story.  I think my age sort of cancels out the casual element of it (well I think it does).  Anyway, it was naturally awkward.  I wasn’t drunk although I’d had a couple and I think I just wanted to get it over with.

He ended up shagging another of my mates whilst I was dallying with an old flame the following week (and yes, I slept with the old flame —– “Don’t stop me now, I’m having such a good time”……….) and then somehow we hooked up and started seeing each other. I was engaged by 19.  Was with him for about 3 years in all.

I got engaged because I was in love.  Truth be told I was in love with the idea of being in love.  I felt so grown up.  Like that was what being a grown up was all about. Playing at grown up.  Absolutely ridiculous.  The guy was abusive and for about 2 years a raving alcoholic.  I have no idea what I was thinking.  I didn’t do too well on number 2 either. Thank goodness Mr40 showed up as Number 3.

With Mr40 I did like the first kiss in a park in London, but I preferred the 10th.  The same with all my firsts with him.

If I ever find myself unfortunately in the position of finding love and doing all those firsts again………can I just skip to the 10th please?

1st