Tag Archives: Palpitations

The Students

You will all be very aware of my anxieties. I’ve blogged about them many times before.  My fears, my OCD’s, my panic attacks and my palpitations.

I’m very aware of them and I know the triggers, so I do what I can to prevent them or when in full swing, chat to myself to calm myself down.

So you can imagine my delight when I found out that next door was being rented out to STUDENTS!!

I’ve had untold issues with the people on the other side of me. They are very noisy anyway, playing Pink Floyd loudly and having lots of late night visitors chatting away in their garden just 2 metres from my bedroom window.  Their teenage daughters (Students themselves) have been having parties until 4am when their parent’s are away, often without giving us notice, like we’ve asked politely on sooooo many occasions.  This year was the quietest year since we’ve been here. Only one impromptu party that we weren’t told about, which resulted in us cancelling Easter Sunday at my dad’s house because we were both too tired to hit the M25 safely.

I’ve been counting down the years until their annoying daughters finally hit the road and fend for themselves, but knew I had at least 2 years left.  As they are students they are now away at university, so with the new university year, this is the time I heave a sigh of relief and get on with things without fear of being disturbed day or night.

Not anymore.

I popped over yesterday to introduce myself to the 3 new girls that had moved in next door (attached to our house).  We had been told by our landlord they were student nurses, but they aren’t. Two are studying teaching and one is studying Psychology.  I’m not happy to say the least.  The girls were VERY polite, they looked like really good girls, brought up well, but they definitely had the sparkle in their eyes that indicated that this was the FIRST time they had ever “played house” and just answering their front door had been pretty exciting.  I gave them some eggs from our chickens, asked them how they were settling in and asked that if they are going to have parties, which I don’t mind (that bit was a lie, I do mind, but I can’t tell people that they can’t have parties), then could they give us notice of it.  I told them we have 2 young children that will get up early everyday and that we work.  Both girls nodded and said they were talking about whether they thought they’d ever have a party. They didn’t think they would.  Yeah right!

Anyway, they gave a parting shot about the possibility of babysitting (a silver lining) and I waved to them as I left.

Immediately after meeting them, I felt ok.  I liked them. They’d be good.  However as soon as I got to bed and could hear one of them in the bedroom next door rummaging through her wardrobe which sits against our wall (she is moving in, I do understand why), all sorts of fears starting creeping in.  When it comes to sleeping and my insomnia and my busy mind, night-time really is a rubbish time for me to consolidate my thoughts.

Within an hour, my palpitations were back and I was really quite worried about how this is all going to turn out.  On my walk to school this morning I was turning everything over again.  Worrying about all the possible scenarios.  I do realise that it is not helpful to do that.  No idea how to stop.

So, some of my coping mechanisms are:

  • Start working on that CV, get a job and move – what better incentive
  • If they are really really bad, we can complain to the landlord and the agency. Both of whom we know.
  • We think they are 2nd year students (don’t they have to go into halls of residence 1st year?) so that’s just 2 years until they shove off.
  • Maybe they won’t be terrible and be really hard-working students. (grasping at straws)

Anyone got any good tactics to make me feel better about this?  I’m working myself up into a frenzy.

Falling Apart at the Seams

For those of you following me on Twitter, you know I’ve had a bit of a weekend of it.
It all started on Friday when about 30 seconds prior to hitting “publish” I got a bit of a flutter in my heart. Nothing too odd about that I guess. I’m always a little apprehensive at this point of publishing a blog post, but the flutter seemed a bit big for that.

It didn’t go away. It hung about like a great big, fluttery, anxiety driven, heart disorder. I took deep breaths, I tried to focus on something else and I stopped making cups of tea. Nothing worked.
It was the bank holiday weekend, so lots of stuff going on and I just had to get on with it frankly. I was a little worried but did what I could to underplay it, mostly by talking about it, but also by reminding myself that I am a big ball of anxiety at the best of times and it’s probably just that. I’ve brought in on myself and it’ll go in time.

By talking about it on Twitter, Facebook and with real life people (I know!) I soon found out that I’m not alone with this sort of thing. A good friend of mine battled illness, panic attacks and heart palpitations all through her 41st year. After trying everything she finally took back some control by seeing a nutritionist and with that an acceptance that she also had ME and needed to know her limits.

Even more bizarrely I found out her husband was going through a similar issue. Palpitations and panic attacks over seemingly minor issues. He’s been to see his GP who has told him that it appears to be anxiety driven. Hardly surprising considering he’s been worried about getting older, concerned about where his career is going, having that whole “What’s it all about” moment.
My cousin has just left an essay rant on my Facebook about her battle for the last 10years with palpitations. Finding yoga and deep breathing works the best, but she’s just had to accept it as part of her life.
What the hell is going on?

Do we all reach a certain age and start worrying so much that we bring on anxiety type symptoms. I guess we do all worry that we ARE finally adults with children who need support. ECGPerhaps we are wondering about where we will live, if we’ll ever earn more than we spend and what the key to a happy life is. I thought I’d figured that all out. Maybe not.

So, where does that leave me. Slowly (quickly) palpitating in the corner, that’s where. Just been to A&E and given the all clear for anything sinister so I’ve got a doctors appointment on Tuesday, hopefully to rule out anything thyroid related or perhaps a deficiency of some sort. In the meantime I’m topping up my fluids and trying to think happy thoughts. Who knew getting older would cause such a fuss!