Your daughter was withdrawn at the birthday party.
You called her stubborn. She looked overwhelmed and shy.
You stayed for over an hour to settle her, then left. It took me 20 minutes to convince her to come to the birthday tea table.
40 minutes later you were back. Chatting to me. Stinking of alcohol. Talking whilst I was trying to enjoy my daughter’s party.
I went to deal with a child so I can could get out of the conversation.
I did judge you.
I judged you on your ability to know what your daughter was feeling
I judged you on why your daughter was behaving like that. Was there an issue at home?
I judged you on going to the pub during the party.
I judged you for chatting to me when I needed to be part of the party.
I feel bad because that judging was based on that hour long obvservation, but I have little else to go on.
So when you invite my daughter (along with one other girl) to your house after school for a small birthday party, I say no. A car ride away (are you driving?) to a house I’ve never been to. To a home I have no idea about.
But I have manners
I said we were busy as family was visiting, but that we were pleased you had thought of us.
What else could I do?
I had to have the party. it was a big birthday, but given the choice again, I don’t think I would opt for a party again. It’s a shame really because I really did have a good time. I laughed a lot, drank a lot, chatted a lot and (bizarrely) danced a lot, even though it was a pub. the biggest problem was the huge amount of drop out that happened very last minute. There were the ones I knew wouldn’t come, despite their insistence and then the complete surprises who had good reasons but the bad luck of it, all at the same time. I was truly gutted. 4 days before my party I had 45 rsvps, but an hour beforehand (where I got two cancellations whilst waiting for the cab) it was down to 25. Chatting to a few people at the party I soon discovered it isnt an unusual situation. One friend said his wife had convinced him to have a 40th but he had so many cancellations at the last minute he had a venue for 50 but only 15 there. He also had a minimum bar bill that needed to be paid, so the 15 of them made the most of it and tucked in.
Since my party I have had similar conversations with many people about 40th birthday parties. In your 30’s people are all a bit more free and easy. I remember stressing at the bar on my 30th but everyone turned up eventually.
So I am disappointed at the turnout, at the feeling of being unpopular, but I know that isn’t what happened and despite it, I really enjoyed my party. So there!!